The subconscious mind is the part of us that determines whether we feel empowered, or defeated. Worthy of unworthy. What’s programmed into your subconscious minds until our 7th year determines if we are successful, happy with our bodies, of happy at all.
Empowerment is an emotion and an energy frequency, a force. It has little to do with status, wealth or possessions. When speaking of having power in this sense, or feeling powerful, it is not about asserting dominance over others, creating a hierarchy or a sense of importance to the self through position and title. True empowerment is knowing your worth and acknowledging your impact in this world. No matter where you are in life. It’s about understanding that love and abundance are your natural birth right and understanding that lack of any kind is an illusion. It’s nothing but an interpretation and manifestation of our belief systems.
Throughout our childhoods, we grow up with collective belief systems that teach us about our worth and possibilities in life. These can be inherited by the country, politics, cities, religious beliefs and customs that we are born into. Then the views of our parents and immediate family are handed down as a group belief system, which is handed down through our ancestral heritage and our karma.
Finally, our personalities and intellects will collect these beliefs and develop a personal belief system. All of these beliefs are imprinted into our subconscious minds, in particular up to the age of seven. They are now the driving force behind 95-99% of every action, reaction and emotion for every waking minute of our lives.
Since understanding this distinction, I’ve often asked myself these three questions:
‘How can I stop feeling affected by people’s negative words or actions, how can I control my response, and how do I remove the triggers?’
I found the answers by examining the beliefs of my subconscious mind. Let me give you an example:
If someone says something to you to intentionally hurt your feelings, you might react to this by getting sad or angry. The reason that you are responding emotionally and taking these hurtful words personally is that you on a conscious level know that those hurtful words are untrue. But on a subconscious level – a level that you are, for the most part, entirely unaware of – you have an imprint or program of believes that you are not enough. It is an inner conflict between the conscious and the subconscious minds.
As a child, your parents and caregivers might have taught you that you are not good enough, just as you are. They were most likely critical towards themselves, and because of it, they might even have told you that you too are not enough or made you feel that you have laughable flaws or unappreciated imperfections.
Your learning innocent child mind then adapts this as your benchmark for what self-worth is supposed to feel like. An imprint that dictates your journey through life, how you treat yourself, how you allow people to treat you, and what you believe to be deserving or worthy of.
Someone that is criticising your worth, your intelligence or inner and outer beauty can only get to you if you were at some point in your life taught that what they are saying is true. Even though you have now matured and know better. What you were taught in your early years is programmed into your subconscious mind. It is this program, this subconscious belief that is reacting and feeling the pain of hurtful words.
Probably neither. Because you know, on all levels of your being, that what they are saying isn’t true. You learned to love yourself as a child. You know that your voice matters. You know that you are intelligent enough, pretty enough, good enough and that you don’t need to do anything different to be deserving of love and kindness.
Words that you do not believe in, simply cannot hurt your feelings. All it did was teach you not to spend any more time with this person that will say hurtful things just to make you believe that you aren’t perfect just as you are. That you somehow need to be different to meet their expectations.
That is the difference between being in your power and giving it away. When you know your truth and your worth, hurtful actions by people around you, only reflect on them, not on you. The moment that you stop criticising yourself and stand up for who you are, no one with anything but love in their hearts can affect you.
Next time that you are confronted by someone that is throwing insults at you, examine your emotions and reactions. Don’t listen to their words.
Their words are saying nothing about you, and everything about how they feel about themselves. Instead, pay attention to your beliefs about yourself. If someone is criticising your weight, ask yourself if you have ever done the same?
Are you happy with your body?
Do you love yourself just as you are?
Or are you always searching for the perfect diet and exercise that will finally transform you so that you can stop the negative self-talk?
If you have been criticising yourself for your appearance, then my guess is that a comment on your weight will be deeply hurtful to you. If you love your body, on the other hand, you’ll probably tell that person to take a hike and throw their insults at someone else. Or, if you sincerely care about them, you might give them a chance to improve their self-worth so that your interactions can be more loving and supportive.
But always remember that, how people treat you is a reflection of how they, knowingly or unknowingly feel about themselves.